THE ARTICLE:
"The Ex Factor"
by Paula Span
August 31, 2012
http://newoldage.blogs.nytimes.com/2012/08/31/the-ex-factor/?ref=health
THE GIST:According to some gerontologists and psychologists, with old age comes an improved ability to regulate emotions and a more positive attitude. These benefits to aging may help explain the odd phenomenon some divorced couples have embraced: coming back together in old age to care for one another.
THE POEM:
In Sickness
The good thing about dementia
is he can't remember
the things I did
the things he said
the way we weren't
My face feels familiar
to his sunken eyes
My hands look strong
to his shaking limbs
I am something safe
in the chaos of his mind
He lies on a cot
in the same room
he doesn't remember
I kissed his boss
He drops his pills
in the same room
he doesn't remember
he found out
He holds my hand
in the same room
he doesn't remember
we ended things
We don't talk about
the years we didn't speak
the weddings of our children
we didn't meet eyes
the birthdays of our grandchildren
we didn't give joint gifts
The silence between us
is comfortable for the
first time in three decades
I imagine he remembers
the good pockets
of our history
His proposal in a lightning storm
Our road trip to Alabama
The first kick we felt inside my stomach
His second wife is dead
my second husband has a second wife
and here we are in the room where
we made our third son
I make him dinner
he asks me to repeat my name
I dress him for bed
he says thank you
In health we had too much energy
to live in the same space
In sickness we have found
a way to fit
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