Even Parenting

Week of July 30

THE ARTICLE:
"Raising Successful Children"
By MADELINE LEVINE
August 4, 2012
http://www.nytimes.com/2012/08/05/opinion/sunday/raising-successful-children.html

THE GIST:
Things are best in moderation.  What you eat, how much you exercise, and...raising children?  That's the word, according to an editorial by Madeline Levine.  She argues that the best parents are those that let their children take moderate risks in order to grow, learn, and develop a sense of self.  Parents should not do for their children what they're capable of doing themselves.  Parents that do their kids' science projects or write their college application essays are really doing them a disservice. As children age, letting them take risks means the consequences get more dangerous and scary for a parent--letting your five-year-old try the monkeybars by herself is different than letting a teenager go to a party.  But just as parents let their children take a few steps and then fall while learning to walk, they should continue to let their children fail as they mature.  Because before your child can get something right, she will probably have to get it wrong first.  A parent should not be too controlling or too permissive, but somewhere in the middle.

THE POEM:
Even Parenting

you brought me to a grassy field
to learn to ride a bike
so that when I fell
as you knew would be the case
I'd bounce back up eagerly
to learn from my mistake

you came to every race
in the woods or on the track
you cheered my name
told me to finish strong
and beamed when I won
but didn't protest or argue
when I was done

you read your book
or went to the gym
while I wrote my
application essays
didn't check my punctuation
didn't question my word choice
never tried to share ownership
of my voice

you let me apartment hunt
alone for the most part
I found the listings
and made the appointments
but you came along to make sure
the strangers whose spaces I toured
weren't hiding meth or bodies
underneath their floorboards

you didn't intervene
when I dated a man
twice my age
you voiced your concern
were silent when we
walked past his house
advised me to break it off
with quiet infrequency
but let the decision
come down to me

you said chase those artsy dreams of yours
with just one catch
don't go Tish or a conservatory
we know too many dancers
with no money
get a liberal arts degree
then do what you want
without benefits or a 401k
just get your own insurance
by your 26th birthday

you will not spellcheck my agent submissions
won't hijack my artistic vision
you will not write my second draft
won't sit in when we cast
you will not share my bylines
won't claim for yourselves what will be mine

you will listen when I complain about the business
will offer the advice that I solicit
you will read what I ask you to read
you will give me feedback that I will need
you will share my articles with your friends
you will be proud of the things that come from my head

you stopped carrying me
so I could learn to walk
you don't worry now that I have faults
know I need them to grow as an adult
you're never far but not concentric
and always encouraging
believing things are best in moderation
even parenting